


Plummet To Even Greater Depths

by DaFlangstLairde



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (not necessarily death but perhaps implied), Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Depressing, Depression, Despair, Desperation, Extended Metaphors, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hot Weather, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Injury, Insecure Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Insecurity, Major Character Injury, Metaphors, Mountains, No Spoilers, References to Depression, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, all of this is a metaphor, it works for before that too, the whole fic, well a little but you don't need to watch SvS Redux for context
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24644968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaFlangstLairde/pseuds/DaFlangstLairde
Summary: Roman was going to reach the peak. The top. He will reach the sun itself!
Comments: 14
Kudos: 74





	Plummet To Even Greater Depths

**Author's Note:**

> This whole fic is a metaphor, I wonder if you can guess what it means ;o   
> CAREFUL - there is a graphic description of fall injuries; implied depression, and the ending could be interpreted as death

The gravel clacked and ground under Roman’s heavy boots. The sun was setting soon, and that meant it was just in the middle of the evening. Waves of saturated heat pulsed out, rippling through Roman’s skin, making him sweat. The wind blew harshly, tugging him this way and that, scratching his damp skin. 

Roman was climbing the mountain. Nature itself was sneering at him, but he was climbing the mountain. Despite the heat and the cold clashing against him, despite his lungs burning, despite every single muscle in his legs begging him for a break, he felt right in his place. 

All the creatures were behind him. Everyone was behind him. And he was reaching the peak. 

There was no bat to sit on his shoulder and screech at his face how this is a stupid idea, how he’s going to fail. No bat to claw at his shirt, trying to keep him back from the top of greatness. 

Roman was going to reach the peak. The top. He will reach the sun itself! And nobody would be able to deny his achievement! 

There was no dog barking around his feet, trying to be encouraging but tripping up Roman’s feet. No dog to force him to pause and ‘take care of himself’. He didn’t need to! 

There was no snake to coil around his neck and lie to him to distract him from its choking hold. No snake to swallow him with pretense of support and sweetness when it only wanted to satiate its own hunger.

Roman stumbled, and almost feel, and the world with all its trees and stars spun and spun, but he pushed it to stop. He pushed to continue. If he well here, his fall would be the death of him. 

There was no crow there to simply croak, to talk. To talk and talk and talk, and be so smart and so appreciated and so undeniably important even in its small, pathetic existence. No crow to shove Roman and have him crashing down only with its mere words. No crow to taunt Roman with its ability to simply fly up to the top if it so desired to. 

There was no rat to mock him, to impersonate him, to taunt him with its very existence. No beaten up, disease-riddled body that lay at the feet of the mountain to tease Roman with what he could be if he just faltered in his step. 

The mountain was getting steeper. The rocks were digging through Roman’s feet, breaking them, like the maw of a dragon attempting to chew through his very bones. But Roman did not feel it. He kept rising. He kept pushing. The more struggle, the greater the glory of his rise will be! 

Roman looked up, to the infinite expanse of existence. So many clouds, distant but soft and beautiful, unreachable only if he allowed himself to think they are. 

And the sun. 

The sun, right behind the mountain’s peak. The sun, dazzling with its heat and light. Even completely hidden from Roman’s eyes, it keeps reaching him with its almighty existence, the sheer power of it. 

Roman was going to reach the sun. Roman was going to be at the peak, and look over every single minuscule tree and valley. Everyone was going to look up at the prince, the knight, the bard, the thespian, the royal, the protector, and bow at the image of his one tiny person basked in the grandiosity of the sun itself. 

He was going to feel the wind kick at him with cackles, was going to feel the cursed creatures wanting to drag him down back to the bottom of the mountain, but none of it would reach him when reached the sun. 

-

Roman was falling. 

He was tumbling down the side of the mountain. 

The sun was turning away from him, diving to hide behind the distant horizon. 

And Roman was falling. And he saw everyone see him fall. 

Roman couldn't move his limbs, but he still felt them. With every single next rock, a pain shot through him, digging into his skin with insults and sneers and cackles, and thorns caught onto his clothing and rubbed the wounds with disappointment and resignation. 

And the sun wasn’t grinning at Roman anymore. Even the sun turned away from Roman. The light and the warmth and the sheer sensation of life’s essence had turned away from Roman’s grand fall. 

Roman was falling to rocks and thorns and creatures ready to devour his otherwise useless body. 

The rat was squeaking, and even from stories high Roman’s head spun with how invasive, intrusive the sound was. 

The snake had coiled up, as if Roman’s fall was nothing. As if Roman’s fall wasn’t the fall of an empire. As if it had simply waited for this since the very beginning. 

The bat was fluttering and screeching. Roman briefly wondered on it - after all, the bat had predicted this would happen.

The dog was barking around for help, for someone to just come help, please, but nobody was there to help. The dog should have helped before the fall itself. 

And the crow. The crow was simply looking at Roman. The crow had known his climb was simply build-up to the fall and not a single thing else. In the crow’s eyes, Roman felt we was taken apart. 

The way his thoughts were pulling apart was worse than the way his skin was breaking off with every hit at the rocks. 

And Roman caught a glimpse of the clouds, the stars, the distant sun, and he choked on the dirt, and he clawed with nails on the rocks and soil until they ripped off his nails. And even then he kept clawing, because Roman couldn’t not be there when the sun decided to return. 

Was the sun going to return to Roman? 

Roman’s world was spinning, plummeting, falling, breaking, scraping, shattering, slipping, he was slipping and he couldn’t catch himself. 

Roman was plummeting to the ground and wild speeds, and the air couldn’t catch up with his lungs quickly enough, and even his tears couldn’t catch up with his thoughts. 

And so Roman gave up. 

Roman’s thoughts became as blurry as the distant, impossible-to-ever-reach clouds. He gave up just as the sun completely gave up on him. The hope in Roman’s eyes went as dark as the creeping night. 

He was falling. And a part of him was screeching to HOLD ON, KEEP GOING, KEEP GOING, WHAT ARE YOU WORTH IF YOU DON’T KEEP GOING, but he had tried to listen to that before and look where that got him. 

Roman had climbed so high, only so he could plummet to ever greater depths. 

And the stars were soft. And warmth spread through Roman’s body, and he couldn’t feel himself. 

Roman curled into himself. 

Instead of the cheering for his rise, Roman heard the distant, booming cheering for his fall. 

He had been supposed to be the sun’s successor, the sun’s pride, the sun’s glory, the sun’s prince, the sun’s knight, the sun’s bard. He was supposed to be the sun’s hero. 

The sun was gone. Life’s very essence was gone, had turned away from Roman. Roman had failed the sun. 

Roman had failed Thomas.


End file.
